Insider Perspectives 23 Moms Reveal their Dearest Desires for their Partners in the Journey of Parenthood
Insights from 23 Moms What Partners Should Know About the Journey of Having a Baby
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Being a new parent is like embarking on a thrilling adventure. But often, amidst the chaos of diapers and sleepless nights, partners can forget that they too are going through their own extraordinary journey. So, we asked 23 moms what they wished their partners knew about the postpartum period, and their responses were as hilarious as they were heartwarming.
1. Feeling Lonely in a Room Full of People
Despite the constant stream of visitors and well-wishers, many moms shared that they felt incredibly lonely after giving birth. They longed for someone who could understand the postpartum pain, the struggles of breastfeeding, and the challenges of adapting to motherhood. It was like they were floating on an island, surrounded by people but yearning for a connection.
- “The physical, mental, and emotional pressure that new moms carry is the heaviest, loneliest thing in the world,” said Claire Holmes, 35.
- “Breastfeeding would be the hardest, loneliest, darkest experience of my motherhood journey,” confessed Erin Gallagher, 41.
- “Postpartum is lonely. Even when you’re surrounded by family, have visitors pouring in through the door, and have a beautiful baby by your side, it’s the loneliest thing I’ve ever experienced,” shared Beth McCallum, 28.
2. Recovering from Birth – Harder Than Climbing Mount Everest
While everyone talks about the challenges of giving birth, partners often overlook the physical and emotional recovery that follows. From tears to cesarean sections, the healing process combined with the sleep deprivation of caring for a newborn can make climbing Mount Everest seem like a walk in the park.
- “Giving birth isn’t the end of the physical and emotional marathon — it’s just the beginning,” emphasized Amy Smith, 36.
- “I wish my partner understood just how much effort it takes to carry a child and give birth. It’s not only the nine months of pregnancy, which can be exhausting in itself, but also the physical toll that labor and childbirth take on your body,” confessed Lori Walker, 32.
- “Postpartum recovery can be incredibly taxing and even painful,” reminded Lauren Byington, 35.
3. Embracing the New You
Becoming a mother is a transforming experience, both physically and emotionally. Many moms felt frustrated that their partners didn’t understand the profound changes they went through. They longed for their partners to see that they were not the same person as before, and bouncing back wasn’t as simple as shedding a few pounds.
- “Mothers are also, in a way, giving birth to ourselves in the new role as mother,” poetically described Jaime Goldman.
- “I felt like a completely different person physically and emotionally. It can take years to feel like yourself again,” expressed Amy Jackson, 42.
- “Giving birth is an out-of-body experience, except you don’t come back into the same body; it’s completely different. There’s a new part of me, and no, I’m not talking about the stretch marks alone,” playfully shared Anna McMillan, 34.
4. Decision-Making Overload
After childbirth, the exhaustion can be so overwhelming that even the simplest decisions seem impossible. Partners, friends, and family need to step up and anticipate the needs of the new mom.
- “If partners, friends, and family could anticipate one’s needs like having food they love ready for them, keeping their water bottles filled, and changing any diapers,” suggests Abbey Sangmeister, 42.
- “There were many days when even the simplest tasks felt overwhelming. Making a simple decision, such as what outfit to put on the baby, felt like too much,” revealed Therese Masiello-London, 42.
5. The Inverted Intimacy Triangle
While partners may be craving sexual intimacy, new moms often feel touched out and insecure in their post-baby bodies. Intimacy takes a back seat as the focus shifts to survival and caring for the newborn.
- “The intimacy is not a priority for us in those first few months. Women are focused on survival and caring for another human, and sometimes our partners cannot conceptualize that,” explained Nicole Kumi, 41.
6. Postpartum Depression: Shattering the Taboo
Postpartum depression is a common complication that affects one in seven women. Many moms wished their partners had a better understanding of this condition and how prevalent it is, without stigmatizing those experiencing it.
- “Postpartum depression does not discriminate to those exclusively with mental health issues. It can impact anyone,” affirmed Karissa Whitman, 31.
7. Riding the Wave of Baby Blues
The baby blues, often fleeting feelings of sadness, affect about 80% of new moms. Gennifer Rose wanted her partner, and all partners, to know that these emotions were temporary and would eventually pass.
- “Even when you’re beaming with pride holding your baby, you have this little cloud hanging over you. As an experienced mother, you know that this feeling is temporary and it will pass,” reflected Gennifer R.
8. Labor and the Partner’s Role
Partners need to understand that when it comes to labor, most of the work falls on the birthing parent. However, having a supportive birth partner remains crucial.
- “There was no way to know what I would need, and nothing anyone else could do for me,” stressed Carrie Levine, 52.
- “Labor may be long, so pack things to keep occupied,” advised Olivia DeLong, 37.
9. In the Calm of the Storm
Amidst the excitement of welcoming a baby, some moms craved a peaceful and quiet environment to bond with their newborn. Partners should strive to create that warm bubble without disturbing the tranquility.
- “The desire to create a peaceful, quiet, and warm bubble around our family while we adjusted without much interruption from the outside world was all I truly yearned for,” whispered Tahwii Spicer, 38.
10. Pride and Accomplishment
The feeling of giving birth is like finishing a marathon or running a great race. Mothers wish their partners could comprehend the immense sense of pride they experience.
- “The closest thing I can relate to is the feeling of running a really good race and being overjoyed and exhausted at the same time,” reminisced Kristin Revere, 49.
11. The Power of Communication
With so many unspoken changes happening, open communication becomes vital. Sharing fears, anxieties, and joys can strengthen the bond during this transformative period.
- “The biggest hurdle of parenting is actually communicating with one another,” acknowledged Anna McMillan.
So, to all the partners out there, take note of these valuable insights and embrace the extraordinary journey of postpartum life together. Remember, a little understanding and support can go a long way in making this adventure all the more magical!
