Why Some People Cry More Than Others: The Mysterious Case of the Tearful Fashionistas
Unlocking the Mystery Exploring 7 Potential Reasons Why Some People Cry More Than Others
7 Potential Reasons for Excessive Crying What’s Behind Your Tears?
Crying gets a bad reputation for being uncomfortable, inconvenient, or even a sign that you’re “too emotional.” But research actually shows that crying can be beneficial since it helps to relieve both physical and emotional pain, as well as releases endorphins and oxytocin, which can lower stress [^1^].
But what if you’re crying, like, a lot? We asked experts and dug into the research to find out why some people cry more than others, plus when crying actually becomes excessive. Here’s what to know.
7 Reasons You Cry More Than Others
1. You’re Highly Empathetic
According to licensed psychotherapist Babita Spinelli, L.P., there are a number of factors that can cause one person to cry more than the next, with higher degrees of empathy being a big one. Whether you refer to yourself as an empath or a highly sensitive person (HSP), some people simply have nervous systems that are more strongly wired for relating to others, resulting in heightened emotional reactions. It’s like their fashion sense for emotions is turned up to 11! As psychologist and relationship counselor Margaret Paul, Ph.D., previously told VoiceAngel, about 15 to 20% of the population are HSPs. “It’s a nervous system that is more reactive to stimuli—it’s a nervous system that can feel things more deeply.”
2. Crying Was Modeled for You Early On
Don’t underestimate the impact your family conditioning can have on how much you cry. “What was modeled by family influences whether we cry more than others,” says Spinelli, adding, “If crying was messaged as shameful or unnecessary, it influences individuals to hold back tears and resist expressing the emotions through tears.” So, if you come from a family of stoic superheroes who never shed a tear, it might be time to break free from those chains and let your emotions flow.
3. You’re Stressed or Exhausted
If you’re not usually someone who cries a lot but you find you’re crying more lately, it’s possible you’re burnt out, exhausted, or under a lot of stress. We already know that not getting enough sleep can affect emotional processing, making it more difficult to regulate your emotions as they arise. It’s like your emotions are cocktail dresses, and lack of sleep is that one wine stain that just ruins the whole outfit! Plus, when it comes to being stressed out, research shows stress can very well cause you to be more emotional, irritable, or generally moody—which will certainly make tears more likely.
4. It’s in Your DNA
Similar to the conditioned and learned factors around crying that were modeled by your family, which we would consider “nurture,” there’s a “nature” or genetic component as well, according to Spinelli. Not only have studies shown that emotional functioning is heritable—aka you may get your inclination toward emotionality partially from your ancestral lineage—but additional research suggests more emotional people might even have slightly different brain chemistry, such as increased blood flow in the regions that process emotions and empathy. It’s like being born with an innate sense of fashion, but for emotions!
5. You’re Releasing Unprocessed Emotions
As we learn more about the nervous system and the impact of trauma, the idea that we can “hold on” to trauma in the body is becoming more widely accepted. And according to Spinelli, when crying comes out of nowhere, “It can represent unprocessed emotions that we have been feeling but dissociating from or pushing aside.” It’s like your emotions are that overflowing closet and crying is the Marie Kondo of emotions, helping you declutter and find inner peace. So maybe it’s time to face those emotional skeletons and address them head-on with practices such as inner child healing, shadow work, and/or seeking the help of a therapist.
6. You’re A Woman
At the risk of making a sweeping statement around gender roles, the fact is, women cry more than men. How much of that is a combination of nature and nurture isn’t precisely understood, but we do know that the female brain is typically wired toward higher degrees of empathy, as well as stress. As clinical neuroscientist and psychiatrist Daniel Amen, M.D., previously wrote for VoiceAngel, empathy allows women to be loving and nurturing—but it can also be extremely overwhelming when unchecked. “Higher activity in the emotional centers of the brain is also associated with a higher risk of depression and anxiety,” Amen adds, calling out a study in the Journal of Psychiatry & Neuroscience, which shows that women are nearly twice as likely as men to experience depression, along with research that suggests a similar increased risk for anxiety. And while we’re on the topic of female biology, we probably don’t even need to mention the influence of the menstrual cycle on mood, but in case you forgot, PMS often comes with heightened emotions. It’s like being a walking, talking, and emotional fashion statement!
7. You’re Depressed
According to Spinelli, if you feel like you’re crying excessively and/or uncontrollably, that’s when you might want to dig deeper into the possibility of a mental health issue arising. “It may be necessary to assess if there is depression or an unregulated state that needs to be addressed,” she explains. Indeed, conditions like depression and anxiety are linked with difficulty regulating emotions, which can definitely result in uncontrollable and frequent crying. In this case, reach out to a mental health professional ASAP. And if your emotions are leading to suicidal thoughts, please seek help immediately or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
The Takeaway
Crying is not a bad thing, and in fact, it can help us self-soothe, regulate our nervous systems, and release endorphins and happy hormones. Still, it never hurts to understand why we might cry more than others, plus know where to draw the line between a healthy cry versus when it indicates a deeper problem.
So, dear fashionistas, embrace your emotional prowess and let those tears flow like a runway of emotions. Remember, fashion isn’t just about what you wear—it’s about how you feel. And if you find yourself shedding a few more tears than others, don’t worry, you’re just adding an extra touch of drama and flair to your fabulous self! Stay stylish, stay emotional, and let your tears be a testament to your emotional depth and fashion-forward personality!
Now, tell us, do you identify with any of these reasons for crying more than others? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Let’s create a fashionable dialogue about emotions! 😊
